The hardest thing about losing you..

The hardest thing about losing you..
is that it didn't just happen once. I lose  you, every single day that we don't speak.
when i wake up in the morning and reach for my phone and hope to see a message that isn't there. 
and when i go to sleep at night after i realise that the only person i want to moan to about how crap my day was, isn't there.
and i lose you in all of the moments in between, in all the hours of silence that go by where i do nothing but think of you, go to call you, and then i don't. i lose you when i watch certain films, listen to certain songs, and go to certain places that are all tained with certain parts of you and how you make me feel.
and i used to think i could miss you when i was alone. but that's not true. 
i miss you when i'm around everyone else, too. because they're not you.
but you're always there...somewhere.
i can't not think about you. it's only when i'm asleep that i get break from it. from thinking and wanting and missing. 
but, then i wake up the following day, roll over, check my phone, see that you didn't call and i just know i'm going to feel it all over again.